Quit blaming others for your problems
Years ago, I watched a YouTube video of an American guy who was living a pretty rough life. The documentary centered around his misfortunes: 'his two divorces, his financial problems, his unemployment ordeal, his inability to pay off his credit cards and so on...'
The documentary lasts about 45 minutes, but during the entire film, the unfortunate guy keeps blaming the government, the President, the IRS (the American government taxing agency), the banks for his credits debts, his two spiteful ex-wives, the Unemployment bureau, the American justice system...
But right at the very end, he blames himself in a quick 10 seconds 'mea culpa' , brushing off all responsibilities towards the rest of the world. What a miserable documentary!
The main character of the documentary kept blaming everybody; to me he looked like a real defenseless and brainless victim. The kind of victim who can't think or who has never thought for himself.
At the end of the documentary, he says the most important thing:
'I hope you have all learned something from it.'
The documentary lasts about 45 minutes, but during the entire film, the unfortunate guy keeps blaming the government, the President, the IRS (the American government taxing agency), the banks for his credits debts, his two spiteful ex-wives, the Unemployment bureau, the American justice system...
But right at the very end, he blames himself in a quick 10 seconds 'mea culpa' , brushing off all responsibilities towards the rest of the world. What a miserable documentary!
The main character of the documentary kept blaming everybody; to me he looked like a real defenseless and brainless victim. The kind of victim who can't think or who has never thought for himself.
At the end of the documentary, he says the most important thing:
'I hope you have all learned something from it.'
Oh yeah, you bet I did learn a lot! And in this article I will share a few key lessons we should never forget when we use the 'blame game':
You see my friend, when you blame everybody for your misfortunes, you will also expect them to handle a solution for you. As long as they don't deliver any solution, you will seat on your chair and whine about everything, forgetting that you can do something about your situation.
Sometimes people don't handle solutions to your life because they are either limited, very busy or they simply don't want to help. You have to come to the realization that you cannot change everybody. As a matter of fact, people change when they want to.
We don't change people but we can influence them to change. But you can change yourself easily.
So instead of seating, whining and blaming the entire world over your situation, you can take steps with you body, mind, Spirit and make decisions that will alter your life.
Yes it is true, that there are times where people's decisions will impact negatively on you. But their actions should not taint or determine the rest of your life. Get up, give a fight and live.
Why should we allow other people's negative actions to dominate the rest of our lives?
Brush off the dust from your life and take responsibility.
When you constantly blame other people (family, ex-lover,boss, the government...), you are also leading yourself into thinking that you, yourself, cannot do anything to alter your life. And only they can change your life.
I, once, worked with a young man who was constantly late at work and what was his excuse?
Every time he reported for his late coming, it was always somebody's fault.
When you constantly blame others for your poverty, addictions, your debt etc...you are also implying that you are perfect and there is nothing wrong about you to change.
You can't blame the bank for your debt when at the first place you applied for the loan!
Life does not work like that.
If you don't believe what I just wrote, please walk in the streets of your city, and you will find beggars who think they are perfect and who keep blaming the world for their poverty and alcoholic addiction.
And maybe people treated you unfairly, maybe you were abused, maybe you were robbed, maybe your loan provider cheated on his terms, maybe the government has adopted new policies working against you, maybe your lover left you, maybe your father left you when you were a child...whatever the situation may be, this is the most important question:
'What are YOU going to do about it NOW?'
Imagine you are invited to a pool party...everything goes well, there are drinks and food...and for a moment you decide to get at the edge of the pool. But right at that moment, a passer by pushes you in the pool. Yes, of course that passer pushed you in but whose responsibility is it to come out? If nobody helps you, you will have to learn how to swim and get yourself out.
And there are many people who are drowning in trouble because they refuse to swim and come out. They still believe that it is the world's responsibility to get them out of their mess.
Life does not work like that my friend.
On Judgement Day, you will be accountable before God by yourself. You will not be able to bring along the people who mistreated you. Of course God will judge them but separately.
If you read your entire Bible, you will notice that when God calls people for a mission, He does not look at the impossibilities surrounding them.
Abraham could not be a Father, yet God called him to become an ancestor to Nations. Joseph was a slave in a foreign country, yet God called him to become a great leader. Moses was in exile in the desert for a murder crime, yet God called him to go back to Egypt and save His people...
God has planted gifts in you, and in the same way He called David, Abraham, Joseph, Paul, Moses and so many others, He does not consider the impossibilities surrounding you. He simply believes that you are able.
On Judgement Day, you will not be able to justify your failure to live up your purpose by blaming others. It's not gonna work! (Consider it as stern warning)
If you have trouble finding solutions in your life, I will give you a little tip...This is what I do:
'I pray for God to lighten my path. He always responds to me in many ways on what I should do, on who I should speak to, on where I should go.'
Jesus said it Himself:
'When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." (John 8:12)
I advise you to follow Him by praying regularly, meditate on His word regularly and you will not be the same.
If your life is so dark, could it be that you have never surrendered your life to Jesus? Maybe you have accepted Him but you have not surrendered your life and choices to His will.
If it's the case, please pray out loud this prayer wherever you are:
' Lord Jesus,
Thank you for coming on Earth for me,
Thank you for dying at the cross for me.
I believe that God has raised you from the dead,
You see my friend, when you blame everybody for your misfortunes, you will also expect them to handle a solution for you. As long as they don't deliver any solution, you will seat on your chair and whine about everything, forgetting that you can do something about your situation.
Sometimes people don't handle solutions to your life because they are either limited, very busy or they simply don't want to help. You have to come to the realization that you cannot change everybody. As a matter of fact, people change when they want to.
We don't change people but we can influence them to change. But you can change yourself easily.
So instead of seating, whining and blaming the entire world over your situation, you can take steps with you body, mind, Spirit and make decisions that will alter your life.
Yes it is true, that there are times where people's decisions will impact negatively on you. But their actions should not taint or determine the rest of your life. Get up, give a fight and live.
Why should we allow other people's negative actions to dominate the rest of our lives?
Brush off the dust from your life and take responsibility.
When you constantly blame other people (family, ex-lover,boss, the government...), you are also leading yourself into thinking that you, yourself, cannot do anything to alter your life. And only they can change your life.
I, once, worked with a young man who was constantly late at work and what was his excuse?
Every time he reported for his late coming, it was always somebody's fault.
When you constantly blame others for your poverty, addictions, your debt etc...you are also implying that you are perfect and there is nothing wrong about you to change.
You can't blame the bank for your debt when at the first place you applied for the loan!
Life does not work like that.
If you don't believe what I just wrote, please walk in the streets of your city, and you will find beggars who think they are perfect and who keep blaming the world for their poverty and alcoholic addiction.
And maybe people treated you unfairly, maybe you were abused, maybe you were robbed, maybe your loan provider cheated on his terms, maybe the government has adopted new policies working against you, maybe your lover left you, maybe your father left you when you were a child...whatever the situation may be, this is the most important question:
'What are YOU going to do about it NOW?'
Imagine you are invited to a pool party...everything goes well, there are drinks and food...and for a moment you decide to get at the edge of the pool. But right at that moment, a passer by pushes you in the pool. Yes, of course that passer pushed you in but whose responsibility is it to come out? If nobody helps you, you will have to learn how to swim and get yourself out.
And there are many people who are drowning in trouble because they refuse to swim and come out. They still believe that it is the world's responsibility to get them out of their mess.
Life does not work like that my friend.
On Judgement Day, you will be accountable before God by yourself. You will not be able to bring along the people who mistreated you. Of course God will judge them but separately.
If you read your entire Bible, you will notice that when God calls people for a mission, He does not look at the impossibilities surrounding them.
Abraham could not be a Father, yet God called him to become an ancestor to Nations. Joseph was a slave in a foreign country, yet God called him to become a great leader. Moses was in exile in the desert for a murder crime, yet God called him to go back to Egypt and save His people...
God has planted gifts in you, and in the same way He called David, Abraham, Joseph, Paul, Moses and so many others, He does not consider the impossibilities surrounding you. He simply believes that you are able.
On Judgement Day, you will not be able to justify your failure to live up your purpose by blaming others. It's not gonna work! (Consider it as stern warning)
If you have trouble finding solutions in your life, I will give you a little tip...This is what I do:
'I pray for God to lighten my path. He always responds to me in many ways on what I should do, on who I should speak to, on where I should go.'
Jesus said it Himself:
'When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." (John 8:12)
I advise you to follow Him by praying regularly, meditate on His word regularly and you will not be the same.
If your life is so dark, could it be that you have never surrendered your life to Jesus? Maybe you have accepted Him but you have not surrendered your life and choices to His will.
If it's the case, please pray out loud this prayer wherever you are:
' Lord Jesus,
Thank you for coming on Earth for me,
Thank you for dying at the cross for me.
I believe that God has raised you from the dead,
Take my life into your hands,
guide me through your will from now on.
I declare you as Lord.
You are the Savior and the Lord of my life'
Amen’
guide me through your will from now on.
I declare you as Lord.
You are the Savior and the Lord of my life'
Amen’